Laura Li ........

Elisha was the name we had in mind before the name Laura was “given” to us…….

As Kev and I were waiting to hear the results of our second ultrasound we looked over the name plates on the walls of Children’s hospital……all of a sudden Laura popped out at us…..we looked at eachother and instantly felt that Laura was to replace the Elisha WE had chosen…..we were pondering on ideas for a middle name when my dear friend, Daphne popped into my head…..I text her to ask what her chinese name was……she text back Li Mei…..i played around with it in my head for a bit and thought Laura Li (pronounced Lee) sounded perfect!!!.......

At this point all we had known was that the doctor was concerned about the results of the initial ultrasound…..They called us back into the room which now included a neurologist and some other kind of long word name that remains fuzzy in my memory……to this day the only words I remember from that half of the appointment are “part of her brain is missing……….”  As I write them now tears well up and that same huge lump in my throat returns…….the first things that filled my negative mind was “what have I done to my baby?” …….i was feeling incredibly guilty for being saddened the moment I saw the + on the pregnancy test not knowing how I was going to do it with three so close in age…..like somehow  thinking that way did this to her…..

In the second half of the appointment they discussed what “part of her brain is missing” would mean for Laura…….Again just certain phrases fill my memory not details…..”it is very likely she will be blind….wont be able to walk….talk……or do anything for herself……..”  and then the words that left me leaving that hospital totally stunned and speechless …..”you have the option and right to terminate this pregnancy” ……Anyone else look at that line like its written in some foreign language? There isn’t one letter of it that I understand ……Even though I had struggled with thoughts of how challenging it would be juggling three little ones so close in age, I loved this baby! …..whole brain or half a brain she was still ours and I knew that if this was part of the plan for her life then there was a reason for it……

When choosing the names for our children, the meanings were always really important to me, but with everything that transpired in our appointments that day, I had forgotten to look up our new name for "Elisha"..... I couldn't have asked for a better way to finish off what was one of the most emotional days of my life……Laura means VICTORIOUS, HEROIC and the chinese meaning of Li is STRENGTH …..that was the very moment that every ounce of me KNEW that Laura was going to do GREAT things, no matter what challenges lay ahead of her……I truly believe God handpicks every name for our children, but this time it was as though he wrote it on a piece of paper and handed it to us……it was just that clear……